originally preposed, desposed of prepostions

all's not fair in Love and War anymore.

Josef Isreal. ¿Peudemos hacer esto junto? tengo alguien amigos quienes esten interesente y quieren hacer esto con nosotros. espero que no piensas que estoy para rabando sus ideas, pero mucho trabajé en esto.

Roar

Does anyone know what it means to live a magical life?
Can anyone hear this question?
Is anyone asking themselves this question?
has everyone forgotten what else life is?
Do You know that i'm not looking for an answer?
HAH

Wanted : Conscious Compassionate Individuals

think of this as a creppy classified add. an unparalleled job opportunity posted by a complete nut. a messianic delusional looking for rabib, avid workers. who wants to build a new world? who wants to live a peaceful life? peaceful on the inside, so that the world outside is peaceful. this is a call to arms, my mothers and fathers, my brothers and sisters, my children. use Your arms, raise Your standards.

more concretely, i have an idea. but i am not the only one. it's about getting away from much concrete. having a community entwined with nature. close knit -- tight, and woven into a hardy fabric.

a limited amount of positions cover a wide variety, though none are modest or missionary. all require the utmost sacrifice and selfishness. highly sought after qualities include humility, keen awareness and an even sharper critical edge. intelligence and aptitude with social dynamics. a sardonic sense of self-importance and a rightous sense of humor.

candidites will be rigoursly and painfully screened. questions might include:
can You clean up Your own bile and vomit? can You clean up Your fellow human's? can You deal with Your fellow humans puking all over each other? shitting on and stepping all over each other? are You prepared to yell and fight? and terrify each other? are You willing to be terrified? do You have the courage to kill? how do You hold the knife?

what colour is Your blood?

alright. these two hands are the same yet they are not. they do different things to You, don't they? Your reactions to the first one were not the same as Your reaction to the second one You saw was it? this is like a river. You never can step into the same river twice. yet some how it is the same river. it still has the same name, and it looks like the river You saw just a few moments before. but the water is different. the water You once saw, or once flowed around Your feet is that much closer to the ocean, and this water now passing You has just come down from heaven and the mountain. yet it is all one stream of water. this is the same as the river of time. this is the same as the flow of energy through the world. it flows ever on, never the same, never otherwise. can You be that way also?

My Hand, and not My Hand

The People Are Crazy

Democrazy = people crazy

The Cost of Living

there is one cost, one price we all pay. it is set, determined, unfluxuating, inescapable, inevitable. You can avoid taxes, but You can't avoid the cost of Living. You can't avoid Death. the price is the same for everyone, and whether You are willing to pay it or not, You will have to.

so, i say, prepare Yourself.

In my development studies class we were discussing the potential moral conflicts we might encounter in the field. to me it came down to the same crux of the matter everytime. what are You willing to live with, or, to put it another way, what are You willing to die for.

confronted with a morally afronting situation where the decision would put Your life on the line, what would You do? this is the question to put us. but i say put this question to everyone. this is a question that should be at the forefront of our minds whenever we make a decision.

infact, the advise that the Hagakure gives to samurai is that upon waking up in the morning one should consider oneself dead already. then concern for one's own life will not impede ones duties or in the case of non-samurai (though should we not all strive to attain such noble ends?), will not prevent one from doing the higher thing, the less selfish thing.

myself, i cannot shake the feeling that, should the opportunity present itself everyone would be better off were i to sacrifice myself, and certainly not worse off, except for grieving, though that grieving is itself a selfish sentiment. for what is the difference of one life willingly given, and another perserved out of fear of death? how much more important is Your own life than anyone else's that You would perserve Your own over someone else's when Your the sacrifice of Your life could make all the difference in theirs?

the cost of doing business

here's the scene: i'm sitting in the library. in the computer lab. i have a laptop now, so i don't have to scramble and fight for the precious resource of a computer. it has wi-fi, so i can sit anywhere i want. i get a seat by the window. i'm about to log into this blogged world, and post something. hadn't really thought about what yet. was just gonna let it flow out. well, before the computer even boots up, two girls from my arabic class approach.

the conversation begins roughly like this:
"what are You doing?" says the first one.
"i was just going to do some writing." i say, but i think to myself, 'fat chance of getting any of that done. i'm going to be doing arabic now.' as they sit down. i must say, i am grateful for the company of these two lovely ladies.

so we go through the motions of reading and translating a passage and answering some questions based on it. but our attentions are easily diverted to conversation.
at one point the conversation turns to the fact that the second girl is taking law and will become a lawyer.

my old roommate had been the receptionist at Halifax's top firm. i tell her this. my old roommate made 420 dollars a week. i tell her this. the senior partner at the firm made 420 dollars an hour. i tell her this.

it occurs to me that part of what i would like to accomplish in my life is to help people feel that this is an entirely unfair disribution of wealth. i know that life isn't fair. but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do everything we can to make it as fair as possible. instead of just accepting that the world is like that, or never even realizing that it is within our capability to do so.

I'll scratch my back, You scratch Yours

Looking at the CIDA website, the website of an organization devoted to funding international development.

just a quick comment on it, because i have to get back to the struggle between being critical of the organization and its policies and be inundated with its indoctrinary propoghanda.

firstly, there is a link in the header: want to do business. this speaks volumes about a facet of what is happening here. i ask You: is this just some savy sounding quip used as a link, or is it a freudian slip about the true intentions of CIDA?

just now i was in my Development class discussing the altruistic intentions versus obvious/hidden kick-backs of CIDA's development policies. there seems to be a small sentiment that this work is only being done, and only done in a certain way so that some of the benefits flow back into Canada.

how selfish is this? the perspectives brought out in the class discussion were that Canadians as stack-holders in the publicly funded CIDA programmes couldn't be expected to just give away that money.

and my question is how can they set up the programs so as to insure there is a return benefit?
there seems to be a missing element in this rationalization. they are requiring some immediate return on their investment, or by somehow holding back all they have to give they think they will benefit more than if they give their all. when the true law of reciprocity that works in creation, operates to maximum effect only when all is given. the return may not be as immediate, but it will be more beneficial ultimately, because something will give back to You all they have and it may be more than You had.

secondly, under the What We Do section there is a link real progress. here they have listed some of the indicators that "development" is working. i can't help but agree that there is some substantial progress being made. some of these indicatators are very heart-warming. however their is a twinge of irony in how they share these developments. they link developments in literacy, drinkable water and food security to my daily life experience. to me this is not a very good example because (and maybe i'm taking to much for granted) i live in a "developed" country where these haven't been problems long before development became a distinct field of concern to the international community. or, at least, these problems were taken care of for people in my country back while imperialism and colonialism were still wreacking havoc with the world, and actually were then causing the gap between First and Third World countries. so You see, these indicators could also be seen as indicators of benefits, the colonialism rampage exploited out those nations that are now called "under-developed."

maybe You see my sceptisim.

move on down the line

wait, this blog has me confused.

How much space does Your ego take Up?

so now i'm blogging three times as wide. gotta take back as much space as we can. any time we find a chink or a gap in the walls of this western communallyconsensualsociopolitijudeochristianscientificallyefficientprogressivelyhatefully prison.

even though there is no communion in most of it. there is no with sensuality in most of it. there is little, if any, efficiency. what has become the idea of progress is actually leading us blindly into a corner which we will not be able to get out of.

this is the kind of prison it is. it's the 1984 prison that Orwell warned us about. there is a Brave New World out there just like Huxley told us. and there are maybe three people i know who are brave enough to venture to that world which is beyond that terrifying horizon of the prison walls.

so here i am chipping away at the concrete and glass-girdled rebar steel, sealing us in and stealing our souls to fuel the fire that is burning a hole in the back pockets of some business man. who has the clever and spiteful ambition to manipulate and bend others over the turn stalls and rape them.
"don't look! the cogs of this machine are grinding the bodies, and souls of everything (that includes everyone) You know into a bloody pulp! don't look! it's such an ugly site, You shouldn't look! just bend over and i'll protect You. don't look because it's so ugly! i said stop looking! well since You keep looking don't You see how beautiful the ugliness is? don't You want to do this too? alright come here, i'll show You how to bend someone else over." says the man with clocks for eyes and suits for skin.

let me tell You. and this isn't an argument i'm trying to prove or convince You, just let me share this with You: there is so much more outside of the social machine. Humans are not separate or superior. we are not the only things working to together to make creation be. but creation isn't a machine like society is. creation is a network, it's a web. it's a tapestry. it's layers and layers of threads woven together. some thread are alive, breathing bloody, other threads are dying or already dead and rotting. some thread can take those rotten threads and spin new fabric into the seam. some thread stretches the entire length of the tapestry, some thread is a brilliant glimmering hue, its shines with spirit and energy. while the thread next to it is the deepest blackest darkness of spirit.

this i've learned by waking up, and seeing. using my eyes in a way that many people have forgotten that eyes work. by stepping into and through the gaps in the walls whenever i can find them. by tearing down those walls where the weaknesses have been shown to me(Nate, You have shown me many of those, this blog's for You).